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The Transactional Model of Love – Why We Find It Hard to Believe in Selflessness

  Wiele osób postrzega miłość przez pryzmat wymiany – dajemy coś, by w zamian otrzymać uwagę, akceptację zy poczucie bezpieczeństwa. W tym ujęciu uczucie często opiera się na spełnianiu wzajemnych oczekiwań. Jeśli partner przestaje dostarczać tego, czego druga strona potrzebuje, pojawia się wrażenie, że miłość wygasła.Takie podejście rodzi przekonanie, że bezinteresowna miłość jest nierealna — […]

10 August 2025
https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/39B428E9-9082-4699-B6BE-DC46DCB0C4F8-scaled.jpeg 1734 2560 Agnieszka Ludew https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/logo-małe.jpg Agnieszka Ludew2025-08-10 10:02:342025-08-11 07:37:15The Transactional Model of Love – Why We Find It Hard to Believe in Selflessness
Personal Growth, Mental Health

Aging and self-esteem in relationships

Wiele osób wraz z upływem lat zaczyna doświadczać lęku przed odrzuceniem i wstydu związanego z wyglądem. Zmieniające się ciało, porównania z młodszymi znajomymi czy partnerami, a także społeczne wzorce atrakcyjności mogą potęgować poczucie niewystarczalności. W relacjach romantycznych te obawy często skutkują wycofaniem lub zachowywaniem dystansu. Taka strategia daje poczucie kontroli i chroni przed potencjalnym zranieniem […]

8 August 2025
https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/starzenie-sie.jpg 600 900 Agnieszka Ludew https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/logo-małe.jpg Agnieszka Ludew2025-08-08 10:32:182025-08-11 07:37:35Aging and self-esteem in relationships
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Agnieszka Ludew
Bez kategorii

The Transactional Model of Love – Why We Find It Hard to Believe in Selflessness

  Wiele osób postrzega miłość przez pryzmat wymiany – dajemy coś, by w zamian otrzymać uwagę, akceptację zy poczucie bezpieczeństwa. W tym ujęciu uczucie często opiera się na spełnianiu wzajemnych oczekiwań. Jeśli partner przestaje dostarczać tego, czego druga strona potrzebuje, pojawia się wrażenie, że miłość wygasła. Takie podejście rodzi przekonanie, że bezinteresowna miłość jest nierealna […]

10 August 2025
https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/39B428E9-9082-4699-B6BE-DC46DCB0C4F8-scaled.jpeg 1734 2560 Agnieszka Ludew https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/logo-małe.jpg Agnieszka Ludew2025-08-10 10:02:342025-08-11 07:37:15The Transactional Model of Love – Why We Find It Hard to Believe in Selflessness
Agnieszka Ludew
Personal Growth, Mental Health

Aging and self-esteem in relationships

Wiele osób wraz z upływem lat zaczyna doświadczać lęku przed odrzuceniem i wstydu związanego z wyglądem. Zmieniające się ciało, porównania z młodszymi znajomymi czy partnerami, a także społeczne wzorce atrakcyjności mogą potęgować poczucie niewystarczalności. W relacjach romantycznych te obawy często skutkują wycofaniem lub zachowywaniem dystansu. Taka strategia daje poczucie kontroli i chroni przed potencjalnym zranieniem […]

8 August 2025
https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/starzenie-sie.jpg 600 900 Agnieszka Ludew https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/logo-małe.jpg Agnieszka Ludew2025-08-08 10:32:182025-08-11 07:37:35Aging and self-esteem in relationships
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Bez kategorii

The Transactional Model of Love – Why We Find It Hard to Believe in Selflessness

 

Many people perceive love through the lens of exchange – we give something to receive attention, acceptance, and a sense of security in return. In this perspective, love is often based on meeting mutual expectations. If a partner stops providing what the other person needs, there is a feeling that love has faded. This approach breeds the belief that selfless love is unrealistic – that relationships always harbor an element of self-interest. Even acts of kindness or care can be tinged with the hope of reciprocation or validation of one's own worth. Awareness of this dynamic can lead to two extremes: avoiding intimacy for fear of a "game" of self-interest, or maintaining the illusion that such a game doesn't exist. However, there is a third path – recognizing the imperfect, human nature of relationships and building bonds based on honesty about mutual needs. This approach allows for encounters with gentleness, kindness, and mutual respect, without pretending that desires and expectations disappear. Instead of struggling with the transactional dimension of love, it can be framed in a way that fosters closeness and mutual understanding.

 

 

10 August 2025
https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/39B428E9-9082-4699-B6BE-DC46DCB0C4F8-scaled.jpeg 1734 2560 Agnieszka Ludew https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/logo-małe.jpg Agnieszka Ludew2025-08-10 10:02:342025-08-11 07:37:15The Transactional Model of Love – Why We Find It Hard to Believe in Selflessness
Personal Growth, Mental Health

Aging and self-esteem in relationships

Many people experience fear of rejection and shame about their appearance as they age. A changing body, comparisons with younger friends or partners, and societal standards of attractiveness can intensify feelings of inadequacy.


In romantic relationships, these fears often result in withdrawal or distancing. This strategy provides a sense of control and protects against potential hurt or humiliation. However, the price of this protection can be high—it limits the possibility of experiencing closeness and mutual support.

For many people, physical attractiveness has long been a key source of self-esteem. When this aspect changes, coupled with a lack of confidence in one's strengths beyond appearance, it's easy to feel like "you have nothing to offer."

Working on relationships in later life often requires redefining what constitutes value in a relationship. Traits such as empathy, emotional maturity, and the ability to build a sense of security are becoming increasingly important. These can become the foundation for lasting, satisfying bonds—even as the outer shell changes.

8 August 2025
https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/starzenie-sie.jpg 600 900 Agnieszka Ludew https://maitri.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/logo-małe.jpg Agnieszka Ludew2025-08-08 10:32:182025-08-11 07:37:35Aging and self-esteem in relationships
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  • The Transactional Model of Love – Why We Find It Hard to Believe in Selflessness10 August 2025 - 10:02
  • Aging and self-esteem in relationships8 August 2025 - 10:32
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