{"id":250,"date":"2019-05-22T10:04:00","date_gmt":"2019-05-22T08:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wordpress3\/?p=250"},"modified":"2026-09-20T19:15:12","modified_gmt":"2026-09-20T17:15:12","slug":"o-systemie-kojenia-w-trudnych-sytuacjach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/o-systemie-kojenia-w-trudnych-sytuacjach\/","title":{"rendered":"Are our only options fight or flight? About the soothing system in difficult situations."},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-k9x024bw-6440674c4c61acebf6c2be8fbd67a5a3\">\n.avia-image-container.av-k9x024bw-6440674c4c61acebf6c2be8fbd67a5a3 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-k9x024bw-6440674c4c61acebf6c2be8fbd67a5a3 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-k9x024bw-6440674c4c61acebf6c2be8fbd67a5a3 av-styling- avia-align-  avia-builder-el-0  el_before_av_hr  avia-builder-el-first'   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-9945 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-9945 avia_image' src=\"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/51CEC78E-E5AC-4ECD-AB87-A1DC696196A4-845x321.jpeg\" alt='' title='rezyliencja' height=\"321\" width=\"845\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\"  \/><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<div  class='hr av-gky5u-17da7396df5f022cf44fbb6c0943c1cd hr-default  avia-builder-el-1  el_after_av_image  el_before_av_heading'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-9y7u-a5854797160a4144aa9ff456ae49dc6c\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-9y7u-a5854797160a4144aa9ff456ae49dc6c{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-9y7u-a5854797160a4144aa9ff456ae49dc6c .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-9y7u-a5854797160a4144aa9ff456ae49dc6c .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-9y7u-a5854797160a4144aa9ff456ae49dc6c av-special-heading-h3 blockquote classic-quote  avia-builder-el-2  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_hr'><h3 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Are our only options fight or flight? <\/h3><div class='av-subheading av-subheading_below'><p>About the soothing system in difficult situations.<\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<div  class='hr av-gky5u-4-82007797707cbf64ad12593dc05ddfd5 hr-default  avia-builder-el-3  el_after_av_heading  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-k9wzh4cp-5ec908d64607d31b00b408b3d660a89d'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock av_inherit_color'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">The current lifestyle together with strongly promoted consumerism intensifies and stimulates in us high reactivity manifesting itself mainly in the form of desire or aversion, and thus arouses two systems of emotional regulation - fight or flight. The longer we function based on lust and aversion, the harder it is to see that there is a third way - based on compassion. It is obvious in the face of the well-established functioning that the introduction to your repertoire of behavior, the Compassion-based  System will not be the easiest task. But <b>the more often we use this system for ourselves and others, the easier and more natural it will become for us<\/b>. It's like training in the gym - the first days are the hardest - afterwards the muscles you train start to like this effort and become more efficient.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-ly8hu-011b527e736f1e8293e46e251785b5b4\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-ly8hu-011b527e736f1e8293e46e251785b5b4{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-ly8hu-011b527e736f1e8293e46e251785b5b4 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-ly8hu-011b527e736f1e8293e46e251785b5b4 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-ly8hu-011b527e736f1e8293e46e251785b5b4 av-special-heading-h3 blockquote modern-quote modern-centered  avia-builder-el-5  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_hr'><h3 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >How did it happen that it is so difficult for us to support ourselves with a system that is healthy for us?<\/h3><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-ka1e440y-055e3955b7b2a57df9fd08b6aeba7acf\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-ka1e440y-055e3955b7b2a57df9fd08b6aeba7acf{\nheight:20px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-ka1e440y-055e3955b7b2a57df9fd08b6aeba7acf hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-6  el_after_av_heading  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-k9wzhn2t-4284f4a0d5358d7730ef7425c4a8dc64'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">Without knowledge of the mechanisms of our functioning, it is difficult for us to observe and understand the process of aversion and desire, how they direct our life and how we strengthen each other.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>By educating ourselves in the sources of these drives, their functions and impact - we can learn to develop new methods of dealing with them. And it is the compassion soothing system present and developed in the third wave of psychotherapy in the Compassion Focused Psychotherapy (which drew its foundations from Buddhism) that gives us understanding and explains how to take care of yourself to regain internal and hormonal balance.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-curwy-501502b8cbe2cfd7c27d075e7ba47214\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-curwy-501502b8cbe2cfd7c27d075e7ba47214{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-curwy-501502b8cbe2cfd7c27d075e7ba47214 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-curwy-501502b8cbe2cfd7c27d075e7ba47214 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-curwy-501502b8cbe2cfd7c27d075e7ba47214 av-special-heading-h3 blockquote modern-quote modern-centered  avia-builder-el-8  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_hr'><h3 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Let's do a small exercise then<\/h3><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-ka1e440y-3-d0d53183ebdf7211cc0eea677a35e71e\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-ka1e440y-3-d0d53183ebdf7211cc0eea677a35e71e{\nheight:20px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-ka1e440y-3-d0d53183ebdf7211cc0eea677a35e71e hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-9  el_after_av_heading  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-k9wzhyxg-db8e05690996494dbcc24c9f58ee391b'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">Think of some difficulty you have recently experienced. It could be a quarrel with a colleague from work, or you failed to accomplish something important, or you felt alone. See yourself thoroughly with your eyes and think about how you would react in this difficult situation, what would you say to yourself, in what words, in what tone of voice, with what expression on your face. Give yourself a moment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8212;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">Then imagine that instead of you in this difficult situation is a small child or a small animal full of suffering. Note what you would like to say, how to respond to it. Look at your facial expressions, tone of voice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8212;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">What was the difference between these two experiences? Who do you think felt better - you from the first situation or a small child \/ pet in the second. In which situation did you show greater compassion and in which situation were you more evaluative?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-9w4eq-db1d27127fa706f59f99045678601787\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-9w4eq-db1d27127fa706f59f99045678601787{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-9w4eq-db1d27127fa706f59f99045678601787 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-9w4eq-db1d27127fa706f59f99045678601787 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-9w4eq-db1d27127fa706f59f99045678601787 av-special-heading-h3 blockquote modern-quote modern-centered  avia-builder-el-11  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_hr'><h3 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >And what result?<\/h3><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-ka1e4a67-6e0476690a154e3cc8e1c242e6971e8a\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-ka1e4a67-6e0476690a154e3cc8e1c242e6971e8a{\nheight:20px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-ka1e4a67-6e0476690a154e3cc8e1c242e6971e8a hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-12  el_after_av_heading  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-k9wzib5z-135cdf4c93fe93d1614d434b3ecbac43'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">Research shows that we are more critical of ourselves than of a friend who needs help. Why do we make such a distinction and assume that a friend deserves understanding and we deserve criticism? It is often the case that there is an internal conviction in us that if we criticize ourselves and evaluate and embarrass ourselves, then we will force a positive change and simply improve ourselves. However, the emotions that we generate by introducing ourselves to such an experience (guilt, shame) do not help us. These emotions trigger cortisol, which literally extinguishes the areas of the brain responsible for learning and creativity,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>and in return raises the answer in the form of struggle or flight or freeze up.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-ka1e4a67-2-4b96e1c9be3ac2ee9e3caad38acb6eac\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-ka1e4a67-2-4b96e1c9be3ac2ee9e3caad38acb6eac{\nheight:20px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-ka1e4a67-2-4b96e1c9be3ac2ee9e3caad38acb6eac hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-14  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-k9wzikrs-1bcd38021ec4b694cde6860451404490'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">Therefore, I invite you to look at myself and listen to my inner voice. Do you rather use a system of soothing yourself with compassion in difficult situations or do you fight with yourself or run away from yourself?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">Next time, when you encounter a difficult situation, look at the tone of your voice and if a critical voice appears, then experiment.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ask yourself: What would it be like to give yourself relief, understanding and compassion now? What would it be like to take care of myself like I would take care of a small animal experiencing suffering?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\">Good luck and see you on the soothing trail :)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n<div  class='hr av-9x8j6-f77e726745419069dd7b2fa0bff77158 hr-default  avia-builder-el-16  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_one_full'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-h6m96-471468a4f5f3dccf2811b49886345af6\">\n.flex_column.av-h6m96-471468a4f5f3dccf2811b49886345af6{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-h6m96-471468a4f5f3dccf2811b49886345af6 av_one_full  avia-builder-el-17  el_after_av_hr  avia-builder-el-last  first flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-9x8j6-1-2a63c80045037f4eb672c9c7d82ece79\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-9x8j6-1-2a63c80045037f4eb672c9c7d82ece79{\nheight:10px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-9x8j6-1-2a63c80045037f4eb672c9c7d82ece79 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-18  el_before_av_icon_box  avia-builder-el-first'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-ka1h28dm-1281e5f24e568bbeb4ca9f8f199526c4\">\n.iconbox.av-ka1h28dm-1281e5f24e568bbeb4ca9f8f199526c4 .iconbox_icon{\nbackground-color:#ffffff;\ncolor:#b02b2c;\n}\n.iconbox.av-ka1h28dm-1281e5f24e568bbeb4ca9f8f199526c4 .iconbox_icon.avia-svg-icon svg:first-child{\nfill:#b02b2c;\nstroke:#b02b2c;\n}\n<\/style>\n<article  class='iconbox iconbox_top av-ka1h28dm-1281e5f24e568bbeb4ca9f8f199526c4  avia-builder-el-19  el_after_av_hr  avia-builder-el-last  main_color'  itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class=\"iconbox_content\"><header class=\"entry-content-header\" aria-label=\"Icon: Maitri\"><div class='iconbox_icon heading-color avia-iconfont avia-font-entypo-fontello' data-av_icon='\ue806' data-av_iconfont='entypo-fontello'  ><\/div><h3 class='iconbox_content_title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >Maitri<\/h3><\/header><div class='iconbox_content_container'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Do you already?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><footer class=\"entry-footer\"><\/footer><\/article><\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9945,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[36,2],"tags":[30,29,28,27,26],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rozwoj","category-frontpage-article","tag-rozwoj","tag-stres","tag-ucieczka","tag-walka","tag-wspolczucie"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/51CEC78E-E5AC-4ECD-AB87-A1DC696196A4.jpeg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11239,"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions\/11239"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9945"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maitri.com.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}